Why Toddlers sometimes Lose their Temper?


Being a mother, it is no surprise that I often found it hard to calm my three years old son whenever he got furious for the reasons unknown. Once he asked me to bring him a remote control car, and I did the same. The very next day, he broke that into pieces saying that it was not exactly the same as he had wished for. I tried to bring his temper down by promising to bring a better one next day, but all in vain. It was surely not the first incident of that kind. Finally, I decided to visit a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist was a learned and experienced practitioner. He brought to my knowledge the facts about the grey matter located just behind the eyebrow called prefrontal cortex or PCF, in short. It starts getting mature since the age of three or four years. As PCF matures, the child too matures and quits his childish irritating habits as he grows. However, it is still fine if the PCF development is slow, as it helps a child in learning the language faster. It is one of the reason why children learn a language faster than adults do. Therefore, it is a healthy trade-off to accept the annoying behaviour of your child in favour of his learning. The psychiatrist hinted that it was going to pay off in the long run.

The second factor that he unfolded was the difference in the way children and adults perceive certain phenomena and facts. “We often forget they cannot think like grownups because they are kids.” They have their own world which is largely influenced by the fantasies that they come across in cartoons and stories told by their grandpas or grandmas. They think “magically” rather than logically. It is often hard to convince them that the water in a bathtub will not cause them to get drowned. It is also hard to make them believe that their obese aunt isn’t a giant if they think so. We can dive deep in their psyche and their specific way of thinking only if we look back at what we used to be at that particular age.

My meeting with the psychiatrist brought me alive to particular amazing facts. He also told that their temper/tantrums can abruptly come to an end and it is just normal for them to transit between happy and sad moods on quick intervals. There is nothing to be worried about. The only thing we should do is to try to build good emotional relation with them to make them feel comforted and secured as much as possible.